Don’t Waste the Waiting Days

What are a couple of childless parents to do while they wait to be assigned a social worker?


We never got the chance to take a honeymoon, and we don’t know that we ever will. Instead, we’ve decided to invest in the next few months as the best ever “staycation” we could dream up. We’re going to visit all the places in the Twin Cities we’ve always said we would someday go, like museums that kids would find boring, outdoor activities that might be too cold for them, places where they only serve grown up drinks…things like that.

But it’s not all fun and games at our house (okay, you all know it usually is). We are also using this time to intentionally prepare for the next chapter in our lives. Once our home study starts, we will be very focused on getting our physical environment ready for a child to arrive. Until then, we’re focused on our mental, emotional, and spiritual preparation.

“The best way I can describe waiting, for those who haven’t been here, is this: The scene in a movie, where the main character is standing nearly still as everything and everyone races past in special effect, fast-forward mode…

Don’t get me wrong, life goes on in the waiting! We don’t actually have time to stand still and watch life whirl by. But there’s part of our hearts that’s at a standstill – waiting for someone to give the word. And while our hearts are waiting, they’re growing, learning, breaking, healing, grieving, longing, and giving.”

Don’t Waste Your Wait: Embracing the Journey of Bringing Your Child Home by Naomi Quick

With biological children, the wait typically has a deadline. Pregnancy happens, and parents can usually set the countdown clock for 8-9 months. But once our home study is complete and we are licensed, we have no idea how long it will be until we are matched with our child…until they are in our home…until adoption is finalized..until we reach a sense of normalcy as our child settles into their new family. There is a lot of something-filled-nothing (phrase we just invented) happening in all of those ellipses.

Wondering what to do while you are waiting to foster or adopt? We’re attending workshops hosted by MNadopt, a statewide education and advocacy group. We’re reading a LOT of books and online articles, and we’re sharing the best ones on our Resources page. We’re getting to know each other in a new way, as future parents, and strengthening our bond as a team.

In many ways, this waiting is a blessing; God has granted us this time with a purpose, to prepare our hearts for this child.  It’s a test of our hope and patience. A time to lay our plans down and clear them from our sights so we can read the beautiful, imperfect story he is writing. A reminder to be fully present for the moment when our lives will intersect with the life of this little one who is hurting, so we can begin to heal together.

-Laura & Nate


Have questions? Want to learn more about foster care & adoption?

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